Drowning people don't save themselves....

Monday, March 19, 2018

I always wonder why we think that drowning people will save themselves.  They don’t— they drown.

Over the years I have collected some very treasured friendships, but I’ve always drifted too far away for most people to want to “hang out with me” I am sure it’s me.  Growing up I have overcome suicidal moments , and walked through some pretty dark depression.  I have waged full on battles with the devil himself, with God beside me plowing me through so I could charge into victory.  I know who I am in Christ, but some days it’s nice still to have a good friend beside you that knows exactly what you need. 

We all have moments when we need someone to notice,  to be a good friend, but here’s the thing…. Lonely people don’t call.  You see that’s why they are lonely.  If a person has gotten to the absolute point of loneliness, it’s probably because they have tried and failed. Tried to call, tried to ask, tried to feel included. The last thing a lonely person is going to do is try again and be rejected. 

When we tell someone if they need something, they should call— is not going to help.  Sorry, it’s true.  People need intentional and meaningful relationships.   They need to be reached out to, not grasping to see who will grab ahold of their hand.

Why is it, we think we can sit and wait for others to come to us?  We think that the broken will just one day wake up and realize they are broken and know how to fix themselves.  We stand and scream encouraging lines from the shore and we wait for someone to save themselves from drowning.  It doesn’t work that way.  Sad, lonely, and depressed people don’t hold flags that scream save me. They sit in the corner cubicle and eat alone at lunch, they are the ones that melt into walls, and that well— just aren’t remembered or noticed. 

I wanted to share with you a few ways we can help to reach out to those around us and maybe help us all reach out a little further and grab a hand of someone who may need it..

1. Be the First…
Don’t tell someone to call if they have problems, to call if they need to talk, to call if they are upset.   Reach your hand out and grab on. Call them, send them messages, invite them out and ask, ask, ask to include them.   Some people will actually say no the first time, because they they you are making nice. Ask twice or three times, just keep asking.

2. Be Intentional…
People know when you are not a priority.  When someone says lets do something, but then they never follow up, it’s a lack of intentionality.  If we want to reach out to those we are lonely, depressed and sad— we must make room for them to be with us.   Make sure that they are a top spot on your schedule.

3.  Be Ready…
We all need to be heard.  Sometimes it means sitting through a few coffees and listening.  Some people have hard shells.  If you are truly intentionally about reaching out to someone, be ready to sit.  Be ready to sit long enough to melt through the hard layers.  It will be worth it. 

Will this save a life, probably not, but it might help us reach out and make a friend.  It might help us notice those around us.  It might help us take the focus off of our lives and shift it on others.  It might help us open our eyes to people we have never seen.  We are called to go, not sit and wait.  Make a call, grasp a hand, and save a soul one smile at a time.

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